What else can I say now?

Stuck in the story of my mind.

Tormented with repeated thoughts I do not vocalize.

The storm in my mind has an agenda of its own

One that never seems to have a rhythm to follow

I don’t want “I’m sorry”,

I want change, forgiveness and to no longer be the owner of a “trigger”.

I want to be liberated!

Liberated from the need for revenge.

Liberated from the sadness, liberated from the uncertainty, liberated from the questions.

Just free, with my only focus on cultivating the talents I buried.

I no longer want the cyclic nature of my dysfunction.

What I want is to continuously laugh,

To find joy even under tension.

To rediscover the innocence of love

To have a season where I don’t look over the balcony in anticipation.

Looking beyond the day I have now,

Sharpening an amour I’m no longer in need of.

What I want is to be intentional this year.

Intentional about protecting my space;

Not my physical space, but my mental space.

What I want is to sit on this shore, surrounded by a storm, but anchored.

What I want is to meet her again.

This time, instead of staring at her silhouette and concluding she’s was an

unintentional byproduct, shaking her hand and saying,

“Hello.”